Wicked Games
by Jin 2.5
Summary: Sirius introduces a dangerous game of seduction with Remus, only to start something he finds he may not be able to finish. Slashy bits[finished]
1. Chapter 1 Breathing with the wolf

A/N: this was originally just a oneshot of sorts, but in the end I realized, I am a fool for smut!

Disclaimer: I own nothing affliated with Harry Potter!

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_**Wicked Games**_

**_-Chapter One-_**

**_"Breathing with the wolf"_**

_**Sirius**_

I haven't slept in days, I feel exhausted and yet, I lay my head against my pillow and I can't close my eyes, Remus sleeps with his curtains open, I watch him as he sleeps, his bare chest rising and falling with each breath.

I envy him, sleep comes so easily to those who are tormented once a month.

He seems frustrated as of late, I wonder if he's ever considered getting laid, it would work wonders on him. Of course then would he still be the same ol' Moony?Probably not, and he is our guiding light, he's the ruler that slaps our wrists each time we step out of line.

I roll over and squeeze my eyes shut. I just want to sleep.

I hear James snore from therecent direction of my line of vision, his curtains are pulled shut, but I know he's sprawled out on his sheets, his arms in odd angles and his feet tied down by the mess he created with his comforter.

I look back at Moony, he's rolled onto his side, facing me with an expression that only he could master.

Peacefully at sleep but deep in thought.

I can never achieve that look, Moony tells me I'm too wound up to be calm.

I watch him a moment longer and roll onto my side, to face him. He exhales as I inhale, but I stop for a moment halting my breathing, to match his. It's relaxing, watching him sleep, breathing when he breathes.

He's shadowed by eyelashes as my eyes fall and the next moment I think about it, I see the sun peeking through the window.

The wolf put me to sleep.

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a/n: Okay so don't worry, I will be replacing this with a longer chapter...I was just working on it, thought maybe a preview...I've been awake for a long time and I dont have the willpower to keep going, so sit tight and I promise this will have more later 


	2. Chapter 2 Kissing the wolf

A/N: Well, I'd like to thank my...er...avid readers...here is the longer..ish update I promised!

Disclaimer: I own nothing affliated with Harry Potter!

* * *

_**Wicked Games**_

**_-Chapter Two-_**

**_"Kissing The Wolf"_**

_**Remus**_

Sirius is sprawled across a chair, his fingers in his ears.

I've never understood him.

"What're you doing?" I asked quietly, keeping my nose in my history of magic homework, he doesn't hear me. What did I expect with his fingers shoved in his skull.

"I'm not doing you're homework for you." I grumble again, he still doesn't hear me, or perhaps he's pretending not to hear me, hoping I'll give in and do his homework for him.

The exact moment the thought crosses my mind, James flies into the common room, almost _glowing_ with delight.

I refuse to do his homework too.

I was right about Sirius ignoring me on purpose.

"I have returned!" James bellows and Sirius is out of his chair, grasping James' waist and pulling his hand around him.

They've never been good dancers, but it won't stop them from waltzing about the common room.

"And where have you been?" Sirius asks, making googly eyes at James.

James pretends to blush, batting his eyelashes. "I was on a date."

"I'm assuming, since she absolutely dispises you, it was not Miss.Evans you were entertaining?" Sirius replies, they almost run into a chair.

I shake my head, watching them, I should be doing my homework.

"No, I was not with Lily." James grumps, a sensitive subject obviously.

"Then who?"

"She was a Ravenclaw...er...I think her name was Sara, maybe Laura...no...Whitney, or Carrie."

James pulls away from Sirius, dipping him back in their waltz. Sirius looks at me smiling as if the blood is rushing to his head, which it might be.

"Perhaps Mr.Potter, your dream girl hates you because you so feverishly bed her friends and never bother learning their names." He laughed as James pulled him back up.

I'm getting sick of this.

"Stop your silly prancing and do your homework." I snap quietly, I've never raised my voice with them.

They coo to each other and lock eyes.

"Stop your silly prancing and do your homework!" They're mocking me, they always mock me.

"I'm not doing your homework." I mutter and they collapse on either side of me.

"But Moony, you know I can't read." Sirius whines and I ignore him, sticking my nose further into my book.

"Yea Moony, be a pal and pull that stick out of your arse." James grumbles, I hear Sirius smack him behind my back.

"He didn't mean it Moony. I like your stick, I think it's a very...cute stick." Sirius replies, keeping a straight face until James giggles, and the two of them crack up, their laughter loud.

I slam my book shut and head up the stairs to the dormitory.

_**Sirius**_

James stares at me accusingly.

"What? What?" I say dramatically, but he just continues to stare.

"You're the one that made the comment in the first place Prongs!" I protest but James won't give up.

He starts innocently picking at his fingernails but never takes his eyes away from mine.

"You're closer to him than I am." James states simply and I want to tackle him and strangle him to death.

I climb to my feet and make my way to the dorms.

James calls after me.

"Go up there and give him a big, sloppy dog kiss."

Doesn't sound like a bad idea.

Moony would kill me though.

But would he? How far **would** he let me get?

We always have been quite friendly...

_**Remus**_

I hear Sirius come up the stairs and I pull my curtains shut, burying my face in my pillow.

"Moony?" He whispers behind my curtains. "I know you aren't asleep, you never sleep with your curtains shut."

I sit up slowly and he jerks my curtains open, staring at me with his wild eyes.

I blush and thank god it's dark.

Sirius has a way of doing things that get to me, he probably knows it too, that I wonder if I'm attracted to him.

He climbs into bed with and pulls the curtains closed.

"I'm sorry Moony, it was just a joke, honest." He pleads, inching closer, he thinks I don't notice, but I do.

Why is he so close?

I stare at my lap, trying to keep him from getting any closer but he grabs my chin and kisses me.

* * *

a/n: ta-da! 


	3. Chapter 3 Russian Roulette with the wolf

A/N: Okay, here is the fourth installment of Wicked Games, YAYE! Not yet to be _very _smutty...maybe just a bitwink

And now for the review thanks...

thanks...

I also realized something, I'm not sure you all caught on either, but thank you to ookamilupin for bringing this to my attention because I absentmindedly forgot to mention it.

The prologue takes place **_after_** the rest of the story.

Okies, I'll stop talking then!

So how's it going?...Yea okay I'll stop now.

Disclaimer: I own nothing affliated with Harry Potter!

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_**Wicked Games**_

_**-Chapter Three-**_

_**"Russian Roulette With The Wolf"**_

_**Sirius**_

He refuses to look at me, he's too sensitive, it was only a joke, we joke all the time.

I still can't stop thinking though, how far would he let me get?

I grab his chin and kiss him.

I know he's shocked, I can just picture his eyes, huge and glazed over, his mind running in circles, not sure what to do.

It's perfect.

His hand connects with my chest, he claws but I won't let go. He shoves and kicks and finally I pull away.

"You bloody pervert!" He snaps and pushes me, almost knocking me off of th bed.

"All in good fun." I whisper and grab a handful of his hair, kissing him again.

He tries to fight me again but I put my weight against him, pinning him to the bed.

He stops moving.

I can tell he doesn't know what to do, but I push for more and he stifles a moan, he thinks I won't notice, but I did.

Slowly he starts to return the kiss.

This game is getting interesting.

He snakes his arms up around my neck and pulls me closer to him.

A game of Russian Roulette, let's see how many times I can pull his triger until he snaps.

_**Remus**_

What am I doing?

James is just begging for a moment like this so he can make my live a living hell.

Sirius Black is kissing me, he's been my best friend since our first year and now he's kissing me, and I'm kissing him, and I like it.

I must've lost my mind.

Suddenly he sits up, straddling me and grins, his hands working smoothly on his belt, I start to vigorously shake my head.

"Get off." I mutter, but I feel a blush creeping up my neck, again I thank god it's dark.

"You can't tell me you haven't thought about this, about me, atleast once." He replies and throws his belt to the side.

I shake my head again, why is he doing this, is he drunk? Why do I even bothering asking myself that, probably.

He leans down and kisses me again, but just a peck this time and grins again.

"It'll be our little secret Moony." He whispers.

* * *

a/n: Sorry for the short update again, I have to get a root canal so my tooth hurts(Oh it's alright, you don't have to cry for me)

Excuses, excuses! I know!

I'm not sure when the next update will be, hopefully soon, it really depends on the dentist and when I have to have them dig around in my...er...roots...

But I promise you it won't be long!


	4. Chapter 4 Apologizing to the wolf

A/N: Okay, here is the next installment of Wicked Games!

This DOES involve some slashy bits, not overly detailed but you hath been warned.

Thank you to all my readers for reviewing, it's really the only reason I keep updating...because I'm afraid of you.

PS. don't worry Sirius isn't going to be a jerk allll the time, it was just necessary for the story.

Disclaimer: I own nothing affliated with Harry Potter!

* * *

_**Wicked Games**_

_**-Chapter Four-**_

_**"Apologizing ToThe Wolf"**_

_**Sirius**_

I'm a dick.

He won't even look at me, I stare at him for 15 minutes during breakfast and when he finally looks up, he also conviently needs to go to the library.

I shouldn't have done that last night.

It's different with girls, they tell me to stop and they never mean it, I push a little and they give in.

I pushed alot with Remus and now he hates me, he'll probably tell James too, about how I practically raped him.

I jump out of my seat and jog after him.

"Moony!" I call after him once we're out of the great hall.

He doesn't turn around.

"Remus!" I yell, running to catch up with him, his step falters a bit.

"Go away Sirius." He mutters darkly.

But I don't, I should but I don't. I've seen him get really angry before. I suppose it's the werewolf thing but he's got a mean streak, people wouldn't stop talking about it. I should know better.

He disappears into the library and run around the door frame, knocking over a pile of books and crushing the toes of Serei Volkova, she hisses in pain and glares daggers at me.

I mutter my apologies and move past her.

If she knew the situation, she'd probably tell me to lay off, considering it was her boyfriend Remus bloodied in second year. I just don't think he would attack me like that, that was different, that was Anthony Flint shoving Remus around the courtyard, screaming "Do something already pussy!", needless to say he got what he wanted.

I turn my head, I don't understand why Serei dates such a troll, it couldn't be because he's a seventh year, she's never been about popularity and superiority, plus the guy is a total troll, they'll probably get married and have total trolls of children, and name them Marcus or Boris, something trollish.

I watch her bend over to pick up the last of her books, tilting my head a bit, hoping for a better view up her skirt.

"Let me guess, you just can't help yourself right? Serei next on the list? Think you can get her because I knocked a few teeth out of her boyfriend? She happens to be a really nice girl, before you decide to sleep with her too." Remus hisses behind me, I turn to look at him, his eyes are blazing angrily and his arms are crossed over his chest in that very parental anger he seems to have.

I run my fingers through my hair and give him my award-winning smile.

_**Remus**_

Sirius gives me his "arse kiss out of trouble" smile and runs his fingers through his hair.

"Look Moony, I wanted to apologize about last night." He says and I glare.

"There is nothing to apologize about." I turn and quickly make my way to a back table.

I know he'll follow me, he always does when he does something wrong. He knows I could never be really mad at him, and I hate him for it.

"She is pretty hot, you can't say you wouldn't fuck her if you got the chance." He nods back in the direction of the door and sits on the table, I just glare at him again.

"Obviously I wouldn't Sirius." He chews on his nails and looks at me for a moment.

"Why? The Slytherin thing? Flint?" He says between each finger.

I open my textbook and flip through the pages.

"You're just a bit dense Black." I mutter, I can feel myself blushing.

I've been fighting with myself all morning, did I enjoy last night? Am I attracted to Sirius? Am I gay? And now I think I'm coming out to my best friend and potential crush.

He moves to the other hand, I hate when he bites his nails.

"So you..." He mutters and I jerk his hand away from his mouth as he spits nail bits to the floor.

"Stop it, that's disgusting." I snap.

He kneads his knee caps, staring down at me.

"Moony, about last night...I really wanted to apologize."

I stand up, not quite sure what I'm doing, Sirius never apologizes.

I grab his shoulders, his eyes are wild as he looks up, locking his savage stare with mine. He does nothing for a moment, allowing me time to do whatever I was planning to do, and I'm not even sure what that was, but I pull him to me and kiss him.

This is unorthodox, he places the heel of his nicely polished shoe against the back of my knee and uses it as a hook to pull me closer.

I pull away before he reels me in.

"Same time as last?" He whispers and I blush.

_**Sirius**_

Remus moans beneath me, digging his nails into my shoulders, causing my back to arch.

I'm biting my tongue, Remus is making enough noise for the both of us as I move in and out of him, and I only make it worse, wrapping my fingers around his erection, causing him to whimper with delight.

Remus has never been this vocal, _ever_. I like this side of him, the side no one else will see.

His hands travel up to the back of my neck and he pulls me down, kissing me hard on the mouth.

It doesn't take long before he cums, and I suck on my fingers, slowly cleaning them of him.

I feel myself also nearing my climax and thrust harder, releasing myself within him and he moans again, arching up against me.

We staged another fight tonight, I can't even remember what it was about but we'll have to come up with another routine, while Peter may be as thick as cement, James will catch on eventually.

_**Remus**_

I watch him pull his pants on, quickly followed by his shirt and I bite my lip.

He leans over and kisses me once before waving and heading down the stairs.

I have yet to realize what I've actually gotten myself into.

* * *

a/n: Okay, well...there you go.

Haha, excuse the Marcus Flint reference, I couldn't help myself.

PS. keep an eye for Serei again, I haven't just thrown her in for no reason, some of my reviewers might be quite pleased.


	5. Chapter 5 The Wolf turns the tables

A/N: It's been a while, no? Well not very long, but still, here is a nice chapter for my lovlies.

Disclaimer: I own nothing affliated with Harry Potter

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_**Wicked Games**_

_**-Chapter five-**_

_**"The wolf turns the tables"**_

_**Sirius**_

Moony is hunched over a textbook, barely managing to shove food into his mouth while his other hand scribbles down words and answers, he forgot to do his homework.

My fault.

James of course notices, he's alot smarter then he lets on, but I really don't think he'd mind if we just told him.

No, James would mind, he'd accuse me of using Moony, and I'm not, but for two weeks now we've been staging fights just to get into each others pants when there wasn't a crowd of seventh year boys in the dormitory.

Suddenly someone is in my lap and I loose my train of thought.

I can't remember her name, but she's a blonde girl from Ravenclaw, curvey and busty, just the way I like them.

The thought crosses my mind and something in the back of my skull whispers _"And Moony? Why do you like him? He OBVIOUSLY doesn't fit into that catergory"_

"I was a bit upset when you never got back in touch with me Sirius, but I think I can forigive you for giving me such a _mind-numbing_ night." The blonde whispers, tugging on my tie.

I grin, returning to the old Sirius Black, the one that never messed with his best friend's mind.

"Well Sarah, I've just been so busy, going out of my mind over you, I forgot to look you up." She giggles, I guess I got the name right.

_**Remus**_

It's disgusting, I'm tyring to finish my homework, the homework Sirius made me forget about, and here he is allowing some little blonde tart giggle in his lap and drool down the front of his shirt.

"I've just been so busy going out of my mind over you, I forgot to look you up." He says to her and she giggles, my elbow hits my goblet and iced pumpkin juice pours into her lap, she gasps and stands up.

"Sorry." I mutter and she glares at me, shivering as she shakes her hands out, her skirt drenched.

"Why don't you pay attention to something other than your stupid little books for once and maybe you wouldn't ruin people's very exspensive clothing." She snaps and I feel a bit bad for what I did, but the wolf doesn't like her and I glare right back, she's just another stuck pureblood who belongs in Slytherin with the rest of her kind.

I grab my books and roughly shove past her, that was childish, she falls back against the table a bit and gasps again, shocked.

_**Sirius**_

"Remus!" I call after him and move past Sarah, she grabs my shoulder.

"Sirius?" She looks shocked and appalled.

"Look Sarah, it's complicated." I mutter and she almost snarls.

"My name isn't Sarah, it's Alethea." She nearly shouts and storms past me, atleast that's taken care of.

I turn and run after Moony, there's only one place he could be when he has unfinished homework, and I know I'm right.

"Remus!" I shout running up a staircase, the library and the lycan coming into view, he's dropped his books and is huddled over them on the floor.

"Moony." I whisper and kneel down, taking some of his books from him.

He doesn't look at me.

"What's going on with you lately?" I ask, standing with him, his books clutched in my fists.

He's breathing heavily, his face red with anger but his eyes glazed and sad.

"I love you Sirius!" He snaps and grabs his books from me and steps closer.

"THAT is what's going on me lately, and since you're too thick to see that and since you're too insensitive to realize FUCKING SOMEONE every night might develop those feelings, then it's nothing too important." He screams in my face.

I blink for a minute and laugh.

"Come on Moony, you know it never actually meant anything."

Uh-oh.

Wrong words.

He looks hurt and his eyes fall to the floor, tears welling up in them.

"Right. You're absolutely right. I'm still a bit lost on those Boy Rules." He mutters as if it's just another incident with a prank that he wasn't aware was supposed to actually humilate someone.

"Wait, Moony I didn't-" He's gone, the library has swallowed him whole.

_**Remus**_

I feel like dying, I'm pretty sure my heart is ripping itself apart right now, I am a complete idiot, I should've known it didn't actually mean anything to him, and it wasn't supposed to mean anything to me either.

Serei Volkova walks around the corner, he face half hidden in a stack of books, she's resiting something to herself.

"Would you like some help?" I manage to choke out and she smiles from me behind the books.

"That would be wonderful, but you see, there's already a table just inches away from me." She says and sets the staggering mountain of books down and throws herself in the chair opposite of me.

"You okay?" She asks and I nod quickly.

Then it hits me.

The Sirius Black Method.

How hard could it be to just have a little fun?

It isn't something I'm used to, but I'm sure I can make it work.

_**Sirius**_

What is he doing?

I'm standing behind a bookshelf, watching Remus Lupin **_flirt_** with a girl and not just any girl, a Slytherin girl.

I know he isn't doing it to make me jealous but I can't help but feel my chesting burning with envy.

He's standing, she's standing, she says something and suddenly my fists clench hard on the shelf infront of me.

**What** is he doing?

_**Remus**_

This is unorthodox.

Serei is a Slytherin, and she's dating Anthony Flint who, even though once upon a time I knocked a few teeth out of his mouth in a moment of fury, could snap me in half.

She doesn't seem to care though as she wraps her arms around my neck and sighs contently into the kiss I have passionately pulled her into.

Passion for someone else.


	6. Chapter 6 Sleeping amongst the books

A/N: I am sad to say, there are only a few chapters left in my horrid little story here...BUT...it will be good, I promise

Disclaimer: I own nothing affliated with Harry Potter

* * *

_**Wicked Games**_

_**-Chapter six-**_

_**"Sleeping amongst the books"**_

_**Remus**_

I don't know what I'm doing, everything is so sloppy, this is nothing like it is with Sirius, with Sirius I never have to worry if I'm doing the right thing, with Sirius, he leads.

Serei seems to understand that I've never done this before, she puts my hands where they need to be, she leads without actually leading, but not like Sirius, Serei seems impatient, almost as if we don't hurry we'll never have this moment again. But we won't.

I always thought it was the guy who pushed the girl, but it seems the roles have switched places, Sirius never rushed me, Serei however doesn't seem to want to moment to last.

Is it supposed to last?

"I...I've never..."I manage to stutter, realizing for the first time, the position I am, with Serei backed against the table, my table, the table I always sit at, do my homework at...kiss Sirius at.

Serei smiles, her eyes are glazed.

"It's okay, I promise it isn't that hard." She whispers and grasps my tie, kissing my neck.

"Shouldn't we...go...not the library." I can't think straight, and the only thing I can think about is Sirius, what would Sirius say if he knew what was going on, in the library none the less.

But that's a stupid question.

I can see him now, throwing me a high five and punching me in the shoulder, his form of congratulations.

_**Sirius**_

My eyes burn, almost as if I'm going to cry, my knuckles are white and I can feel my fingertips digging into the bookshelf.

That filthy little slut whore bitch.

I'm sure I could just spew out a thousand useless insults at her, but it wouldn't help the feeling in my chest, the clawing and the aching.

She's pulling his tie off, and working on his belt, and he's letting her.

I dig my fingernails into the wood before me clench my jaw, I shouldn't be watching this, but it's killing me, she's destroying him, he was innocent, he was...

I destroyed him, my best friend and I ruined him all for a few minutes of lust and pleasure. He always had perfect control of himself and I tore that away from him, allowing him to become...me.

I now feel the tears on my cheeks and bite my lip hard and finally let go of the bookshelf, sliding to the floor, I'm completely falling apart.

Why should it bother me, I can't stop thinking about that, why should it bother me that he's moving on, growing up and doing something every teenage male will do at some point in their life?

Oh my god.

I grab the bookshelf, knocking a few books to the floor and move to get away, to escape the library, to escape his place.

This is not happening.

I feel sick.

I do NOT love my best friend.

Or...do I?

_**Remus**_

I feel sick.

I want to tell myself it's the full moon, that it's all because of tomorrow's change.

But it's not.

I'm still in the library, I can't move, I feel like I'll throw up if I try to make my way back to the tower.

I can smell her all over me, I shouldn't have done that.

I turn and look around the darkening library, there's a few fallen books on the floor one aisle away from me, I stare at them for a moment, confused.

But they're just books.

I lay my head back against the leg of the table, this place use to be so comforting for me, I sure screwed that up didn't I?

Why do I feel like I'm dying, these things aren't supposed to happen at Hogwarts, this was my safe haven and now it's just useless, painful and tiring.

I press my head against the leg of the table, the wood digging in my skull and I close my eyes, allowing sleep to overcome.

Sleep, the one thing I know will never betray me.


	7. Chapter 7 Empty and Clear

A/N: There are only to be two chapters following this, so it is coming to and end shortly.

Disclaimer: I own nothing affliated with Harry Potter

* * *

_**Wicked Games**_

_**-Chapter seven-**_

_**"Empty and Clear"**_

_**Sirius**_

Moony never came to bed last night, I would know, I waited for him until the sun came up and I could no longer keep my eyes open.

I just wish I could explain myself, but what good would it do now?

Tonight is the full moon, he needs me, no...us, the Maruaders, not just me. I'm being selfish.

I've looked everywhere for him too, everywhere except the library, and that's probably the exact place he would be, but I can't go in there, not now. I have however circled that floor about a thousand times, in hope that he would come out as soon as I passed by.

He never did.

I pass the library one more time and deja vu hits me hard in the form of Serei Volkova, books tumbling loudly to the floor.

"You just _love _doing that don't you?" She snaps and mutters under her breath "_Tosser_."

I reach down to pick up some of her books and I smell _him_ on her, some almost unnoticable trace of Remus and my blood boils.

I do everything in my power not to reel back and slap her.

That stupid slut.

Whore.

Bitch.

Life ruining cunt.

I hold her book out and she puts her palm up, waiting for me to hand it to her, instead I drop it.

She looks close to snarling and she points at the book on the floor.

"_Pick it up_." She snaps.

I place my hands on my hips, and glare at her, cocking one eyebrow.

"PICK it _up_!" She's near screaming, her hand shaking as she points at her fallen text.

"Fuck. You." I hiss and she throws her books to the floor, I almost think she'll yank her pigtails right out of her head but instead she reaches for me and slams me into the wall with one flat palmed push.

I clench my jaw and my hands ball into fists.

I would never hit a girl.

Suddenly she smirks at me, her eyes smoldering with what could only be described as pure rage and hatred.

"_Him._" I almost think I'm hearing things but now her pearly whites are showing and I swear she has fangs.

"I saw you, last night, in the library."

I shake my head, my hair falling into my eyes.

She moves forward, slidding her hands up my chest until they rest on my shoulders and she places her crimson lips against my ear, her breath is hot against my skin and I realize how creamy her skin is, how soft it must be, how good it must taste.

"I always figured he was gay." She whispers and I barely hear her for the blood pounding in my ears.

I reach up and grab one of her ebony pigtails and kiss her, smearing crimson across her lips like a bloody grin, and she moans, grabbing handfuls of my shirt.

_**Remus**_

I woke with a pain in my neck and an even bigger pain in the crotch of my pants.

This is ridiculous, I can't even dream without Sirius Black molesting me.

I sigh and lean my head back against the leg of the table, deciding to wait it "out".

I turn my head slightly and see the fallen books again. It strikes me as odd once again, they were never there when I came in last night.

As I look at the fallen books, I think of Sirius, as if they somehow have something to do with him, but that's ridiculous.

The minutes drag by and I feel tears in my eyes.

Why does he do this to me?

Why am I in love with him?

Why does everything have to go wrong with me?

I want to victimize myself, Remus J. Lupin: The _Gay_ Werewolf.

He always made me feel better, made me feel normal, made me want to smile and he betrayed me.

I'm crying now, freely, choking back sobs as I pull my knees to my chest, I've never felt anything like this, it feels worse than those monthly transformations and I almost scream.

I've never felt so empty and lost.

I've never felt my heart come to a complete stop.

_**Sirius**_

I pull back, panting and he stares into my eyes with his pale blue ones and smiles.

And then I realize I'm staring into the smoldering crimson eyes of Serei, not Remus' beautiful blues.

"But I never figured you were gay." She whispers and kisses me again and I'm thinking about him again.

I remember his glare, his face twisted with anger but his eyes glistening with hurt and I remember how he spoke.

"You're just a bit dense Black." He blushed and his anger was gone, he blushed.

He grabbed my hand.

"Stop." He said.

Stop what?

I remember the library and the way he looked at me, the way he confessed his soul to me without saying a word.

Stop what?

"That's disgusting."

Stop it that's disgusting.

And I apologized for hurting him.

I've never apologized in my life and meant it.

And he kissed me.

He kissed me.

I lean into the kiss and let my eyes flutter for a moment before I open them and I'm shocked.

It's not Remus I'm kissing.

I push Serei away and she cackles.

"I guess I was wrong." and She grabs her books, whiping her mouth on her sleeve and walking away from me.

I stare after her for a minute and take off running.

I've waited far too long.

* * *

a/n: sorry it took so long, school started up again and blah blah blah.

Only one or two chapters left, sorry.


	8. Chapter 8 Outside

A/N: as a christmahanukanwzakuh gift to everyone here is a nice little update.

Disclaimer: I own nothing affliated with Harry Potter

_**Wicked Games**_

_**-Chapter eight-**_

_**"Outside"**_

_**Sirius**_

I get it, I finally get it. I know Prongs and Remus and practically everyone at Hogwarts has given me that lecture, the one about how sooner or later I was going to mess with the wrong person and get kicked right in the balls by love.

Well they were right and I'm actaully sorry for not listening. But come to think of it, if I had listened, maybe I never would've messed with Remus and I never would've realized I loved him.

That's just great, my family already hates me, lord knows having disowned me, now they can just throw stones at me along with the "shame" they glare at me.

Sirius Black, the dishonorable flaming homosexual of the family.

But who gives a flying fuck, right?

I just to find him, I need to find him and I need to tell him I love him, because if I don't fix this, if I don't make it right, I may never even be able to look Remus in the eye.

I would ruin everything.

And it doesn't help I've already ruined everything else.

_**Remus**_

I can't breathe.

I'm slouched as I walk into the Great Hall, I just know he's here.

I look up once and regret it; Serei is staring over at me from the Slytherin table, Anthony Flint has his armed around her shoulder so tight you'd think he was trying to pull her into him. She looks sorry almost, but who's to know if that's because of me or because of the fact that she's with Flint. It's probably me, I'm in a right state to be in the Great Hall, my robes and uniform are crumpled and dirty and I'm as white as fresh snow with dark circles under my eyes.

I slide into a seat next to James who chokes on pumpkin juice and gapes at me.

"Oy, what the hell happened to you?" He nearly shouts.

I glance at him and then continue to stare so hard into my empty plate, I have expected it to melt.

"You didn't come to bed last night either, and rumour is that you and that little trollop Volkova had at it in the library." he muttered, scooping something into my mouth, I take a deep breath and the smell of food makes me want to vomit; James gapes at me some more as I climb to my feet and stumble out of the vast room.

I want to tell myself I'm falling apart because of the full moon but I can only kid myself for so long.

The windows tell me it's almost nightfall and I quickly withdrawl into my robes as if they could swallow me.

I need to get outside.

_**Sirius**_

The night will be a long one.

I run into the great hall and whisper to Prongs and Wormtail, convincing them to stay behind tonight, I know he needs all of us, but tonight he needs me and only me.

He's probably already there, waiting for someone to show up.

I pull at my tie and start to transform.

* * *

A/N:yes yes I know it's short. 


	9. Chapter 9 Those three words

A/N: as a christmahanukanwzakuh gift to everyone here is a nice little update.

Disclaimer: I own nothing affliated with Harry Potter

_**Wicked Games**_

_**-Chapter nine-**_

_**"Those three words"**_

_**Remus**_

I am a tangle of limbs, but they are not all mine.

I feel the hot breath on my bare shoulder and the warm arms around my equally bare waist. A pair of legs are tangled up with my skinned knees and let my eyes slowly close, tears hitting the dusty wood floor beneath us. My hand grabs the hand on my waist and I pull it to my chin, taking his fingers in mine.

As long as he's asleep I might as well enjoy the moment.

I snuggle against him and yet my chest still feels empty, there is no warmth, no heart beating for love.

I can't even pretend.

I sit up quickly, dropping his hand and I bury my face in my filthy palms, tears spilling onto every inch of wood and skin they can find. I am quiet yet I feel as if I should scream and tear open my chest, I just can't take it anymore.

And then I see, on the only chair not overturned or torn from it's legs, a clean uniform folded nicely with my prefect's badge perched atop and I can't stop myself from looking at him. He is clothed, his fresh uniform in the dust, his hair tucked behind his ear and shoes polished and tied.

I have never in my life seen Sirius Black look so put together.

I scoop my uniform into my hands and make to get dressed before he wakes up.

_**Sirius**_

He's gone. I open my eyes and he's longer in my arms.

I sit up and look for his uniform but that's gone too.

Where is he? Would he really have left me here?

The light outside is golden and I know it is nearing evening.

As I go to get up I hear something behind me and I sigh.

"Remus."

_**Remus**_

I watched him sleep and I cried again and then watched him sleep just a little longer. He woke up around five.

I had decided that I would once and for all tell him that I couldn't stand him, that he'd ruined my life and I was done with him. I finally had the nerve.

But that wasn't true, I couldn't stand the idea of not being with him, to be honest, but sometimes people just have to put their feelings aside.

He sits up and looks around confused as if he expected something else but I know he's looking for me, I'm sitting behind him, perched on an old, filthy little cot.

As he stands up I shift my weight, causing the bed to creak and he sighs and whispers my name.

"Remus."

I want him to say it again, it sounds so nice coming from his lips, so endearing.

He turns to face me, tears are in his eyes, fire are in mine.

He sees it and his face drops.

"Remus." he says again and I almost melt.

"I'm done." I choke out, I feel tears in my eyes again.

He looks up at me quickly, he gets it all at once.

"Wait." he says as if I'm leaving.

I shake my head and get up, quickly shoving past him, if I don't leave now I won't at all.

He turns to grab my arm but I'm already down the rickety stairs, and he's running after me, I almost think the staircase might collapse with the heaviness of his feet.

"Wait please!" He sobs but I keep going, I can't give in.

But I want to so bad, my heart has broken into a million pieces over him and yet I want to go back to him, as if in hopes of him repairing the pain.

I can't.

_**Sirius**_

I'm sobbing like a little girl now, yelling at him to stay and yet my words I know sound like gibberish. I'm throwing out every word that comes to mind as I stumble after him. He's actually leaving me.

"Stop, please!" I yell and yet he keeps going, we're almost outside now.

I see the sun peaking out from far behind the trees as it sets.

He stumbles out from the Whomping Willow and bounds across the ground, me chasing after him.

"Please, I'm so sorry!" I choke out and run after him.

I catch a root and fall to my knees only feet away from the destructive path of the tree and I dig my hands into the grass and sob.

_**Remus**_

"Please, I'm so sorry!" I nearly turn back but all I can do is stop as I hear him sob.

"Come back. I'm sorry. I'm sorry! Come back!" He sounds so sincere.

I turn and look at him, he's on all fours, his head down and his face streaked with tears.

What should I do now? I know I'm crying but there's no use in trying to stop.

My mind is turmoil as I watch him and I fall to my knees a few feet away from him.

I can't take it, I throw my head back and scream, letting out every little thing, the pain and love, the sadness, Serei, Sirius, my family, my "problem", my lonliness, all of it in one long, heart wrenching scream,

_**Sirius**_

My throat is raw.

I see him turn and I see him fall to his knees infront of me and I hear him scream and I feel as if my heart as been ripped out.

But I know he isn't screaming at me, maybe for me, but not at me and I crawl to him.

His face is wet with tears as I cup my hands around his cheeks, his scream has become a sob, quickly turning into a sad moan.

Without thinking I kiss his closed eyes, I kiss away his tears, I kiss the corners of his sad mouth, I kiss his forehead and his jaw and his nose and I kiss every inch of his face my lips can find until his keening comes to a stop and I pull back to see his blue eyes staring at me with wonder.

I know apologizing isn't what he wants and so I stroke his face and stare him in the eye.

"I love you." I whisper and I can visibly see the change in him.

"I love you." I say again and continue to repeat it, the words sound so genuine, so true and full of emotion.

I like the sound of it.

"I love you." I say again and as I open my mouth to say it again he presses his lips against mine.

_**Remus**_

I refuse to break the kiss for fear of the love disappearing, but I know it won't. When he openned his mouth and spoke those words to me I felt him pick up all of the broken pieces and put them back in place, he really did fix me. He is a man of many possiblities and I love him.

_**Sirius**_

He finally breaks the kiss, panting softly and blushing but almost seems to be upset with himself for not letting our kiss last longer. I brush his hair from his face and kiss him again.

"I love you." He whispers, and I wrap my arms around him tightly. I won't let go.

"I love you." I reply.

And I mean it.

* * *

a/n: well it's finished...I guess. 


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